3

But Chintamani wouldn't listen; he continued running. He still had enough stamina and could run. Moteramji, however, found the going difficult. He panted like a buffalo and lumbered behind while hurling expletives at his friend. The distance between the two increased all the time. But Moteram did not give up the chase. The spectacle of the two pandits running like that was like watching two rhinos, which had escaped from the zoo; soon a large crowd gathered to watch the spectacle. Several children ran after the two clapping their hands. The race, in all probability, would have ended at Pandit Chintamani's house. But Pandit Moteram's "dhoti" came loose and he tripped and fell. When Chintamani looked behind and discovered that the chase had been temporarily suspended, he too stopped. He asked Feku, "Tell me son where is the feast"

Feku: "Will you give me sweets if I tell you?"

Chintamani: "Yes, tell me."

Feku: "At the rani-sahiba's place."

Chintamani: "Which rani-sahiba?"

Feku: "I don't know, but she is a very rich rani."

Now, there were several rich rani-sahibas in the city. Panditji thought that he could easily visit the homes of each rani; there was sure to be a large gathering at the home of the rani who was hosting the feast, and he would then know whether he had come to the right place. Once this simple scheme suggested to him there was no reason for him not to return back to the fallen man and offer his sympathies. He came up to Moteram, and saw that the latter was lying on the ground groaning in pain. Moteram did not show any intention to rise. This scared Chintamani. He asked, "How did you fall, friend? There isn't any hole here."

Moteram: "Go away. Take the boy with you and ask him whatever you want to ask."

Chintamani: "I am not a wicked person. I was only having some fun with you, and you felt offended. Come, now, get up. Honest, I didn't ask your son anything."

Moteram: "Liar!"

Chintamani: "I swear by placing my hands on this sacred thread."

Moteram: "You are not to be trusted."

Chintamani: "You think I am wicked!"

Moteram: "Very wicked! I will not believe you even if you swear by the name of god while taking a dip in the holy Ganges."

Chintamani: "If anyone else had said this I would have torn off the moustache from his face."

Moteram: "Very well, come on then."

Chintamani: "First, go and obtain permission from your wife."

This insult was too much to bear. Moteram got up immediately and caught hold of Chintamani's hand. The friends began wrestling each other and, as they did so, they invoked the name of Lord Hanuman loudly. The invocation was so loud and uproarious that a hearer would have got the impression of two casks crashing against each other.

Moteram: "Mighty, victorious Lord Hanuman!"

Chintamani: "Ghosts and spirits stay at bay."

Moteram: "Victory to Lord Hanuman."

Chintamani: "Lord, please protect your devotee's honour."

Moteram was disgusted at the error. "This verse is not there in Hanuman Chalisa," he pointed out the error.

Chintamani: "I have composed this on my own. I am not like you who cannot compose anything on their own."

Moteram: "If I start composing verses on my own I can compose one lakh verses in a day, but who has the time for that!"

Both the friends began bragging about their composing skills. The wrestling match had given way to a spiritual discourse, which was the appropriate thing for two wise persons to engage in.

Meanwhile, someone had hurried to Chintamani's house and informed his three wives about the fight. The neighbours were terrified of Panditji's three wives. At times of crises, the three united into a formidable force, and no outsider could dare to say anything against any of them. Panditji had lovingly christened the eldest wife as "Imarti", the second as "Gulabjamoon" and the youngest as "Mohanbhog" - his three favourite sweets. The neighbours did not share Panditji's feelings; to them the three women were more like agonizing fever than sweets. Upon hearing that Pandit Chintamani was in trouble, the three trooped out of the house. When Pandit Moteram saw the three approaching he realized it was time to flee. He freed himself from Chintamani's clutches and started running as fast as he could without daring to look back even once; Chintamani yelled challenges behind his back but Moteram refused to slacken his pace.

Chintamani: "Why are you running away now? Stop and enjoy some fun."

Moteram: "I accept defeat; I have lost."

Chintamani: "Wait; you are leaving behind your alms."

"Have mercy, have mercy," Moteram huffed and panted as he desperately tried to increase the distance between himself and his troubles.

PREV<< >>NEXT