3

Attorney: Do you know the complainant?

Kamalakanta: No.

Prasanna was astonished. "What are you saying Thakur (an address made to brahmins)! You have always drunk my milk and curds, and yet you say you don't know who I am!"

Kamalakanta: I did not say I don't know your milk and curds. I certainly recognize your milk and curds; whenever I find three-fourths water in a litre of milk, I at once recognize it as having been obtained from Prasanna, the milkmaid.

You know my milk and curds, but you don't know who I am!

Kamalakanta: My elder sister, who can ever claim to know women?

Attorney: This proves that you know the complainant. What do you know about this case?

Kamalakanta: I know that you are the attorney, Prasanna is the complainant, I am the witness, and the bald man is the accused.

Attorney: Oh, not that! I mean, what do you know about stealing cows?

Kamalakanta: Even my father and grandfather know nothing about stealing cows. Will you teach me that skill? I cannot do without milk and curds.

Attorney: For crying out loud! I am asking you whether you saw the cow being stolen.

Kamalakanta: Yes, once at Nasibabu's place .....

Attorney: I am asking whether you saw Prasanna's cow being stolen.

Kamalakanta: No. The thief wasn't clever enough to call me to witness the theft. Had that happened, it would have been easier for both you and me.

Prasanna realized she hadn't entrusted her matter to a competent lawyer. She whispered into her counsel's ears, "The brahmin hasn't witnessed the theft - he only knows the cow and can identify it."

The attorney now grasped what he was required to get out of the witness. "Do you know the cow?" he asked in a stentorian voice.

"Of course, I know the cow," Kamalakanta said smilingly.

A cow of dusky colour, which Prasanna claimed was hers, was tethered on the grounds outside the courtroom. The judge pointed at the cow and asked Kamalakanta if he recognized it.

Kamalakanta joined the palms of his hands in salutation to the judge and asked, "Which cow, Your Honour?"

Judge: What do you mean? There is only one cow out there!

Kamalakanta: You see just one cow, but I see many.

The judge could not tolerate Kamalakanta's waggishness any longer. "You are disrupting the proceedings of the Court. You have to pay a fine of five rupees for Contempt of Court," he said.

Kamalakanta saluted the judge once again and said, "Very well, Your Honour. But, in this life, I will never be able to pay up the fine."

Judge: Then, you will be imprisoned.

Kamalakanta: For how many days, Your Honour?

Judge: One month.

Kamalakanta: Can't the term be extended to two months?

Judge: Why do you desire an extended imprisonment?

Kamalakanta: These are difficult days; invitations to free meals have become less frequent. If you arrange for my stay in the jail for two months along with free meals, this poor brahmin wil get some respite.

What was the use of fining or jailing such a person! The judge smiled and said, "Alright, if you stop being annoying, and provide straight answers to the questions you are asked, then the fine could be waived. Do you or don't you recognize this cow?

The judge then ordered a constable to go nearer to Prasanna's cow and point out the animal. The constable obeyed.

The complainant's counsel, who was by now decidedly dejected, asked, "Do you recognize this cow?"

Kamalakanta: Oh, the cow with horns! You must have said that earlier.

Attorney: Do you recognize it?

Kamalakanta: I recognize the cow with horns. I know it.

Attorney: Who does it belong to?

Kamalakanta: Me.

Attorney: Your cow!

Kamalakanta: For certain.

Good heavens! The blood drained from Prasanna's face. The attorney saw that the case was heading towards an impasse. Prasanna sprang to her feet and raged, "You liar! The cow belongs to you, does it?

Kamalakanta: Of course it belongs to me. I have drunk its milk and buttermilk, and eaten its butter, curd, and yogurt. Does that not make me its owner? Woman, you claim to own it just because you take care of it!

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