Not the way to do business
Four friends, who were not very famous for their intelligence, decided to start a business. They held a lot of discussions and finally decided to start a hotel.
They selected the best of locations and cooks and built the hotel. The hotel was inaugrated and was awaiting its first customer. The friends waited and waited but nobody turned up. No one came the next day too. A week passed but noboby turned up. WHY?
Because they had put up a sign at the entrance which said, "Visitors not allowed"!
After the failure of their hotel they decided to start an auto garage. They bought the best of car servicing equipments and soon started the garage.
The friends waited that day for the first car to arrive but no car entered their garage. They waited for one day, two days, a week but no car came to their garage. WHY?
Because their garage was on the fourth floor!
After this, they decided to take up taxi driving. They bought a new shiny taxi and began to look for passengers. But nobody hailed their taxi. They drove all around the city in the hope of attracting passengers. But no one hailed their taxi. WHY?
Because all the four friends were sitting in the taxi all the time!
The friends were very disgusted and decided to push the taxi into the sea. They started pushing their taxi. They pushed the whole day and were very exhausted but the taxi did not move even an inch. They decided to rest for the night and start the next day. The next day the story repeated itself. The taxi just would not move. They pushed for a whole week but the taxi would not budge. WHY?
Because two friends were pushing from the front and two from behind!
Mullah in a soup
People in Mullah Nasruddin's neighbourhood were always looking for freebies - a free meal, a free ride, anything that came free.
An old friend of Nasruddin came visiting him once and brought along a big chicken. The aroma wafted out and the nearby people immediately realised what was cooking at Nasruddin's home.
The Mullah and his friend, meanwhile, enjoyed a nice feast after which the friend left. The chicken which he had brought was really big and would have lasted the Mullah and his wife quite a few days. With a contented smile, therefore, the Mullah went to have a siesta.
There was, however, a knock at the door and Nasruddin found himself facing a man who introduced himself as the friend of Mullah's friend who had just left. Mullah invited the man inside. The man sniffed the air and remarked, "Wow! You had chicken it seems. The aroma has made me hungry and I would not mind having some stew." What could the Mullah do? He had to offer some stew to the stranger who relished it and, then, left.
Immediately thereafter, there was again a knock on the door and, this time, the stranger outside introduced himself as the friend of the Mullah's friend's friend. This stranger too had his share of stew and left.
There was a knock for the third time and Mullah found himself facing the friend of the stranger who had just left. Mullah welcomed him with a huge smile. "So, you are the friend of the friend of the friend of my friend?" Mullah asked. Mullah had realised what was conspiring. The stranger nodded his head vigorously.
Mullah asked his wife to bring some stew for the stranger. The man attacked the bowl, but the next moment he spitted out the contents. "Hey, this is nothing but boiled water with lots of salt in it," he said.
The Mullah looked apologetic. "Yes," he agreed, "the stew must have turned into mere boiled water with lots of salt because it is the soup of the soup of the soup of the original chicken soup."
The stranger disappeared and there were no more knocks at the door.
Assassination or Ass Ass I Nation
This English teacher had a rather innovative method of teaching his students.
The school principal was surprised one day when he passed by this teacher's classroom while taking his usual round.
"There is one ass. There is another ass following the first one. I come next and, then, the whole nation follows me," the principal heard the students reciting at the top of their voices.
The principal could not make head or tail of this.
He heard the teacher exhort the students to repeat the strange sentence.
And the children repeated, "There is one ass. There is another ass following the first one. I come next and, then, the whole nation follows me."
"Repeat once more," the teacher ordered and the students obliged.
"There is one ass. There is another ass following the first one. I come next and, then, the whole nation follows me," they sang out.
This was too much for the principal and he wanted to get to the bottom of the things.
The principal entered the classroon and upon seeing him, there was a hushed silence.
"What is the meaning of all this noise?" the principal demanded to know from the teacher.
"Well sir, I am teaching the students to spell the word 'assassination'," the teacher replied smugly.