Hitting the jackpot!
The coaxing aroma of the freshly-prepared "samosas" wafting from the sweet-meat shop forced me to delve into my pockets, but all I could draw out was a fifty paise coin that was not sufficient to buy me even a toffee.
Poor me could only return home with the aroma still teasing my nostrils. I turned on the PC to check mail. Normally I delete the spam mails without even glancing at them, but today I decided to give them a look. It is then that I realized how rich I was. Stinking rich!
"We are Pleased to inform you that you have won a prize money of (800,000.00 GBP) by Yahoo Lottery. we collects all the email addresses of the people that are activeonline, among the millions that subscribed to Yahoo users, we only select three people every 3 as our winners,through electronic balloting System without the winner applying," said an email (which I am reproducing as it is without editing), signed by someone who calls himself/herself/itself as Mrs Annabel Williams.
Mrs Annabel Williams has sent me a form to fill up and the last column asks me, "How Do You Feel Has A Winner....." I suppose Mrs Annabel Williams wants to know how I feel upon winning such a huge amount.
"I feel on top of the world Mrs Annabel Williams. Thank you and may your tribe increase."
"Dear Winner Your e-mail has won you 750,000.00 GBP from BBC ONE LOTTERY on our 2010 charity bonanza.The draw no.1516 braught out your e-mail address from a Data Base of Internet Email Users and qualified you a bonafied winner of the stated winning amount," says another email from someone who calls himself/herself/itself as Mr.Larry Goodfield.
Mr.Larry Goodfield had probably not felt it worthwhile to learn spellings while in school. Anyway, poor spellers are considered creative people. A Google search informs me that William Shakespeare had the inability to spell his own name correctly and spelt it differently at different times. Thomas Alva Edison was a dyslexic. Mark Twain is supposed to have had remarked, "I don't think much of a man who can spell a word only one way."
But back to my riches!
"I am Sgt. John Rogers (3RD INFANTRYDIVISION," reads another email. "I am an American soldier with British background, serving in the military with the armys 3rd infantry division. With a very desperate need for assistance, I have summed up courage to contact you. I found your contact particulars in an address journal of a carieer builders database. I am seeking your kind assistance to move the sum of ten million US dollars to you, as far as I can be assured that my share will be safe in your care until I and my partner come to you, this is no stolen money, and there are no danger involved. My partner and I need a good and reliable person, we can trust to actualize this dream. The money is from oil proceeds and its legit. We intend moving it by diplomatic means to you or to a safe and secured location of your choice.
Once the funds get to you, please take your 30% out and keep our own 70%. I shall however leave out other details of this transaction until I receive an affirmation of your desire to participate. Please contact me on my personal email address below for more details."
I really do not know what I am going to do with all this money. But more largesse is pouring in.
The Golden Sea Foods Co.Ltd Canada wants to employ me as a fish packer. They would pay me at the rate of US dollars 12 per hour with an assured 8 hours of work per day and "also there is a chance for overtime if you have the strength". They will also sponsor my flight to Canada.
There are numerous other philanthropists whose sole aim in life is to enrich me.
This email, again from someone who calls himself/herself/itself as Kwabena Dufuor wants to give me US dollars 2.9 million, Barrister Williams Odili is vying to give me USD 51,000,000.00 for some complicated reason which I could not fathom from the email, while Dr. Susan Scott wants to give away 2.5 million Great British Pounds.
"I am Mr.Andrew Wong Senior Accountant & the Auditor General of one of the new generation Bank in Malaysia. I work with the BANK in Kuala Lumpur Malaysia. Though, this medium (Internet) has been greatly abused,But I choose to reach you through it because it still remains the fastest medium of communication. However, this correspondence is unofficial and private, and it should be treated as such. During our investigation and Auditing in the Bank, in my department I came across an abandoned sum of money ( Eight Million Five Hundred Thousand US Dollars ) In an account that belongs to one of our foreign customers who died along with his entire family. I wish to know if we can work together such that you can stand as his Next of Kin to a Fixed Deposit of USD 8.5M which he made to our Bank. He died and left nobody behind as his Next of Kin," another spam mail tells me.
The list goes on and on. Everyone out there wants to make me rich without me as much as lifting a finger. No, I decided, I do not want to get rich and deleted the messages. Similar messages keep coming in handfuls every day and I delete them without even giving them a glance now.